This photo was taken 6 weeks after starting with Beachbody. I was 10″ down. My journey was just getting started. I had yet to wake up. I had no clue at that time just how far I had let myself go, let myself down.
You see, it’s not that I was crazy overweight, I yo-yo’d for many years, it was what I had going on inside. I have struggled with depression and anxiety all of my life. I cared to much what people thought about me. Often to the point of not going to events/ parties altogether. The stress would eat at me all day. I allowed myself to remain friends with people that I knew were damaging and toxic. Somehow I felt like I had to. I was also extremely toxic to myself. I would look in the mirror and words like “disgusting. Gross. Fat. Loser” would be what I would see looking into my own eyes. I had no idea that I could fight back. That I could axe damaging relationships.
Today, when I look in the mirror I love what I see. I love who I am. I have made a mental shift. This happened to me about 8-10 weeks into my fitness journey. It was literally a light switch. I had been feeding myself small bits of positive everyday. Pushing myself. Feeding myself whole foods. Loving myself!
This started for me as a way to lose weight. I have received so much more then I knew I would. For me fitness is doing that. I have to step up when I don’t feel like it. I have to push myself when I think I can’t keep going. I have to make the choice to love myself enough each and every day. There is no way I want to live like I had in the past. I want to live for TODAY! And today I choose me, I choose happy. I’m not who I used to be………..